How to give money to your family without going broke

Realize you can’t do it all

You’re a nice person. You want to help others. You love your family and friends. But let’s face it. You can’t do it all. You cannot put everyone else’s needs above your own. Although this is something we know, it can be hard to put into practice. You are successful. You’ve done well for yourself. And other people count on you. But you have to realize you can’t be everything to everyone. You cannot give all you have away leaving nothing for yourself. You cannot put the livelihood of yourself and your immediate family in jeopardy because of your generosity to more distant family members or friends. You cannot continue to give away endless amounts of money to others before paying off your own debts and obligations.  As the airplane stewards say “put your own oxygen mask on first before trying to help someone else”

Decide how much you can afford to GIVE away

There’s an old adage that says “Never loan money to family that you expect to get back.” In other words, when it comes to family, loaning money isn’t wise. Either give the money away with no strings attached or do nothing at all. Loaning money creates unnecessary tension that could destroy loving relationships and families. Give away what you can and make peace with the rest. While some people cannot fathom the thought of financing the livelihoods of their extended family, others consider it as natural as brushing their teeth. Whether you view it as an important tradition with tremendous value or a rare occurrence, decide what you are willing to give. Look at your monthly income and expenses. Decide a reasonable amount you can actually afford to give away each month. Is it $50 or $100 or perhaps $500?

Create a Family Savings Account

I find that having a set amount in your head may not be enough. When it comes to family many of us don’t stick to our boundaries or budgets as much. One way to avoid overspending is to create a family savings account. Deposit money into this account each month with the amount you can afford to give away. As family needs come up, you can pull money from this account to assist your family. This allows you to save for the financial needs of your family without having to assist with large purchases last minute. Make a rule that the money you give to your family will no longer come from your bank account directly. It will now come only from this family savings account. Each month you can make a deposit into this account to build up reserves for any financial requests/needs of your family may have in the future.

Set expectations and boundaries

Let your family know that this account cannot be over drafted. This means that once the money is out and the balance goes to zero, they must wait for the reserves to build up again before more money is given away. This allows you only give away what you can afford each month without being bombarded with last minute requests that you didn’t plan for. It creates boundaries and allows you to set expectations around what you can give away without jeopardizing your own financial goals and obligations. You get to be generous to your family and still take care of yourself. It’s a win-win.

5 Things To Do Before The New Year

1. Show gratitude for good health in the midst of this pandemic. Whether you’ve made a full recovery from coronavirus or have been one of the lucky few to have never gotten infected, you’ve made it to the close of another year. Show gratitude. We are alive and healthy enough to make a living, be in our right mind, and make it through the Christmas holidays. That is a blessing. Good health is one of the things many people take for granted while they are young and spend a fortune trying to maintain when they are older. Be different. Part of showing gratitude for good health means making a commitment to take care of your body and preserve that health for as long as you can. Enjoy the holidays but make a commitment to exercise, eat healthy, and maintain a good mental state going into the new year.

2. Practice good self-care to become a better version of yourself. It’s not enough to just have good health habits. You also have to put in the work needed to become a better version of yourself. You are too smart and have too much potential to stay stagnant. You have to grow. And in order for you to grow, you have to practice good self-care and commit to getting better. That means doing what it takes to improve mentally, emotionally, physically, intellectually, and financially. You may have to hire a personal trainer, see a dietician, get a therapist, take a few courses, read some new books, and surround yourself with a social circle who will motivate you to strive for more.

3. Get optimistic about next year and refuse to stress about the unknown. You’re a young professional with a promising career, good health, and a sound mind. There’s nothing you can’t do. Instead of worrying about your job, your bills, or other things that used to cause you stress, adopt a new mindset. Before this year ends, make a commitment to write down some goals for next year. And dream big. Think of what you plan to accomplish, the money you plan to invest, the places you intend to travel, the people you hope to impact. Then visualize it. Picture yourself doing all these things and think about how it would make you feel.

4. Reaffirm your commitment to invest money and grow your net worth. If you’re like most people you desire to live a life of significance and get paid to do work that you enjoy. Perhaps you also want to travel the world, spend time with family, and live in a nice home. Your ability to do these things will be much improved if you build your net worth. The more money you have, the less dependent you will be on your job and the more options you will have to live life on your own terms. Make investments now to give yourself that chance. Set aside 10-20% of your income for building wealth and use that money to invest, pay down debt, and save for large purchases. One of the best things money can buy is control over your time. Do what it takes now and make the necessary investments to build your net worth so you can live the life you desire.

5. Never forget the importance of faith and family. Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” So do your best to let your family know how much they mean to you. Regardless of how much money you have, regardless of the type of career you build, or the kind of possessions you acquire, it’s vital that you remember what’s important in life. The love and support of your family/friends along with your faith and positive belief that you are here for a purpose and can do anything you put your mind to is vital. Take the time to tell people how much you love and care for them this holiday season and renew your faith in God who has allowed you to make it to this moment and all the future moments to come. Finish 2021 off with a bang and head into 2022 with a plan for this to be your best year yet.